Losing Faith In Me, In You
by SiriuslyYours
Summary: Takes place between Dark Side of the Moon and 99 Problems. After Dean and Castiel lose their faith, the boys share a private, fluffy moment. Maybe there is still hope out there after all. Reviews are appreciated!


Dean couldn't sleep. He and Sam were currently on the road to Blue Earth, Minnesota, but had decided to stop for the night in another dingy motel. Sighing in annoyance, Dean rolled out of bed and threw on his jeans and jacket, quietly opening the door and trying not to wake up Sam. Not that it was difficult; once Gigantor was out for the night, he rarely woke up. Dean envied that about his younger brother.

He walked out of the motel and towards the Impala. There was a source of peace and familiarity that always drew him to his car on nights like this. He opened the door to the backseat and grabbed the bottle of beer he knew was thrown back there somewhere. Closing the door and popping the bottle open, he breathed in sharply and took a hearty swig. It was warm and bitter, but he told himself going through the motions would calm him down. He closed his eyes and remembered the scene all over again. The moment of Castiel giving Dean back the amulet to find God and giving up hope. What the hell are you suppose to do when a freaking angel of the Lord gives up hope? Dean had been running out of faith lately himself, but the defeated look on Cas' face broke him in ways he didn't understand. And so he threw that necklace into the trash, just as he had cast out his last remnants of optimism and let it sink into a despairing darkness. Dean sighed heavily and leaned back against the Impala.

"Hello, Dean" said a gravelly voice to his right. Dean jumped and had to stop himself from grabbing the gun inside his jacket.

"Shit Cas," Dean cursed, glancing at the angel in the trench coat. Castiel was staring back intently as ever, but there was something different in his eyes. A lost look that reflected Dean's own emotions.

"Why are you here?" he questioned a little more harshly than he intended.

"I…" Cas started, eyes looking down at the ground instead of piercing into Dean's skull. Dean felt like he had kicked a puppy. Those big blue eyes staring so dejectedly at the ground. It only took a moment for Dean to realize Cas was feeling as lost as he was. Dean sighed, placing a comforting hand on Cas' shoulder. The angel looked up at Dean, the usual stoic look he wore seemed even more serious than normal.

"I know Cas, I don't know what to do either, man. I don't know what options are left and I am _tired_ of trying to figure this all out. Maybe I should…" Dean said, drifting off.

"If that sentence ends with 'say yes to Michael' then I will not wish to see you again Dean Winchester. Remember that I lost everything for this. For you. Do not disappoint me now. I'm already losing faith in me, don't make me lose it in you as well."

"Well Cas, if you have any other brilliant options then let me hear them! Because I don't friggin' know anymore. I don't have _faith_ anymore. Hell, maybe I never had it." Castiel took a step closer to Dean, grabbing tightly onto Dean's jacket and staring him straight in the eyes.

"Yes you did, Dean. I saw it in you and it's still there. It's in me too. We just have to…believe in it again. Somehow," said Castiel with a desperateness Dean had never seen in the angel before. He was still holding onto Dean's jacket. Dean could feel their breath mingling and he was staring down at Cas' lips.

_His lips looked so soft, so inviting._

_Whoa, holy shit man what the hell are you doing?_ Dean thought, wondering where in all that is holy and unholy that damn thought had come from. He blamed it on the who-knows-how-old beer he had been drinking before Cas magically poofed his angel ass down here.

_And what an ass it was…Wait, what the f-?_

"Dean," Cas said, interrupting Dean's thoughts, which he was grateful for until he realized Cas was still only a hairbreadth away from him. "What is wrong with you? Are you ill?"

Dean smiled and thought, _what the hell. Everything else is messed up and then some. _So he closed the distance and kissed an angel, a freaking angel. The kiss was soft and almost ghostly in touch. Cas had stiffened and his eyes went wide. Dean pulled away and Castiel tilted his head in the way he did when he was confused.

"I am definitely going back to hell now," he said with actual humor he hadn't had in awhile.

"What was that?" asked the angel, normal gravelly voice a little raspier than usual.

"A kiss, Cas. Well, sort of. You're suppose to kiss back, but I guess they don't teach you that in angel school do they?"

"No, I mean…_why?_" asked Cas. Dean looked at him for a moment.

"Because, Cas, I don't have faith in a lot anymore. Not in myself, not in God, hell, sometimes not even in Sammy. But I have faith in you. I have watched you go through a lot, man. You have helped me through a lot, too…you know, like pulling my ass from hell. I guess if I believe in one thing, I believe in you," Dean finished. _I sound like a friggin' girl!_ He scolded himself, glancing upward, downward, anyway that was not directly at Castiel. Well that was until he found himself being pushed gently back against the Impala and a pair of Castiel-shaped lips were pressing tentatively against his own. Dean grabbed the ridiculous trench coat and kissed that angel back as if his life depended on it. He captured Castiel's lower lip between his teeth and ran his tongue along the plump lip. Cas jumped a little in surprise at this new sensation and Dean chuckled, pulling back to look at the angel.

Castiel was actually flushed and Dean found it completely endearing. A thought he would never let anyone else hear ever, because he was _not_ a girl about these things. But he couldn't stop himself from smiling at the angel and Castiel grinned back. Dean realized it was the first time he actually ever saw the angel smile so widely.

"I like when you smile," he said before he could stop himself. Yep, he was definitely entering chick-flick moment here. When he looked at Cas smiling though he stopped caring. Instead he let Castiel rest his head on his shoulder and they wrapped their arms around each other…in a very manly way, thank you very much.

"Thank you, Dean, for believing in me," Cas whispered.

"Yeah, you're welcome Cas…" Dean sighed, resting his cheek on top of Castiel's hair. What the hell, it was the end of the world, and the middle of the night in a nearly empty motel parking lot. He could afford to let his mask fall and his guard down for just a few more moments in his angel's embrace.


End file.
